Ever walk away from a conversation feeling like you might as well have been speaking two different languages? You probably were—unknowingly. Miscommunications happen daily because of subtle differences in how our brains interpret language and intent. These differences often stem from two distinct communication styles:

Style 1: The “Verbal-First” Communicator

This style relies heavily on verbal cues, body language (like eye contact, facial expressions), and context. Sarcasm, reading between the lines, and linear communication come more naturally. They might assume others understand unspoken nuances or expect reciprocity in nonverbal signals.

Style 2: The “Literal-First” Communicator

This style often prefers written communication and detailed, explicit instructions. They may avoid eye contact or fidget during conversations because it helps them feel more at ease. Many take things literally, struggle with sarcasm, and ask lots of questions. They thrive when given clarity and flexibility in interactions.

The Problem?
Both styles are doing what feels natural to them. Neither is “wrong” or “broken”—they’re just wired differently. But here’s the catch: miscommunication is a two-way street. Just like in cybersecurity, we can’t assume everything is working as expected just because it says it is.

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Zero Trust: A Framework To Be Understood

In cybersecurity, Zero Trust means never assuming—every interaction must be verified. If someone claims to be “FlatLine,” you don’t just believe them. You verify.

The same principle works in conversations. Instead of assuming intent, we practice “Trust but Verify” by:

• Asking clarifying questions (e.g., “What do you mean by X?”).
• Reframing language to avoid ambiguity (e.g., using explicit instructions instead of vague phrases).
• Observing patterns and noticing when communication feels “off” (e.g., confusion, frustration, or repeated misunderstandings).

This isn’t about being suspicious—it’s about being curious. It’s about taking responsibility for our part in miscommunication and creating a space where we all can be heard.

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The next time you feel confused in a conversation:

1. Pause. Ask yourself: “Did I assume their intent, or did I verify it?”
2. Try using “trust but verify”—ask for clarity, restate what you heard, and confirm understanding.
3. Share the concept if it helped you. Small changes can lead to life changing improvements.

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Final Thought

There’s no “right” way to communicate—only what comes natural to us. But by adopting a “Zero Trust” mindset, we can turn miscommunication into a learning opportunity. Always Be Curious, Dangerous, and Explicit. And remember: The goal isn’t to change who you are—it’s to to gain understanding and be understood.